Hope at Every Age – Developing an Appetite for Recovery

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I am in Sixth Grade at school and I am developing Anorexia Nervosa. My parents are worried sick about me. They think I won’t make it to my 12th birthday. No one understands me. I don’t understand, either. I only know that I have to lose weight. I am too scared to eat. Food makes me anxious.

Powerful thoughts drive me to eat less and exercise more every day. It is like something has taken over my brain, telling me what to do, and punishing me if I disobey.

If in reading this you recognize yourself or someone you love – keep reading. Even though I got worse: much, much worse, I want you to know that I got better. There was no treatment for Anorexia and Bulimia in the 1960s when my illness developed. I was in my 30s when a correct diagnosis was given, and that’s when I began a 20-year journey to regain my identity.

Follow my journey and share my ongoing freedom through the pages of Hope at Every AgeDeveloping an Appetite for Recovery, a compilation of my first six months of blogging, June to December 2011. At every age, there is HOPE.

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Reader Messages

“Just needed to say thank you xox. You have stopped me falling in absolute heap (I have fallen but I don’t think I’ve landed as hard as I would have without your encouragement and support) x.”

How you have worked so hard to gain clarity and a healthy self is a true inspiration for anyone trying to overcome personal obstacles. As you say, reaching out and sharing is essential for healing, which is huge, but your reaching out, I believe, cannot but help heal so many wounds for others in this world. You are a gift to this world, not just in the world of eating disorder recovery, but for all who suffer who come across your writing. – S.

I absolutely agree that it is essential to share experiences like this so others close to us can understand and support us better. You are so brave in sharing your own experiences with the world through your books and your blog, because you give others so much hope and inspiration in doing so. – K.

Thank you June! I wondered if anyone else struggled with this. I like when you referred to sitting down to a meal and eating even when you already feel full. I face this almost every meal of everyday, … I long for when I can be spontaneous with food. My panic over food limits my social life greatly. Maybe like you, I will overcome this. I am so thankful for your insight. – A

Interesting! Thanks June! Yes, I agree that EDs present in many different ways and have different personal ‘meanings’ to each and everyone. – C.

Your post gives me much hope. My heart aches for I know all of what you write is so true. ED torments us so much to believe the lies that he gives about us and about life. We just need to take that step to believing our support team and believing that life is worth living without ED…that we can survive without ED…and that we will be OKAY without ED. Thank you so much for sharing your story so honestly and bravely. – J.

You are such an inspiration. thank you for sharing your story of hope and recovery. I am 32 years old and have been battling anorexia and bulimia for 23 years. Its too long and I am hoping this is the last time I go through the recovery process. I am a wife, mother, artist, teacher and I just want to live life. I am really struggling right now with the aspects of weight gain and I wanted to know if you have any advice … i think you’re wonderful and your profile picture makes me smile, seeing you successful and thriving.  – M

I’m 33 and have suffered from eating disorders since the age of 16..im so tired, hopeless, and scared … i am seeing a therapist and doctor, but feel so frightened … i get so worried the food is hurting me and confused and unsure what and how to eat even when i get a meal plan, have you any advice on how to heal your body and cope with the physical discomfort … im so proud and in awe of what you have achieved… – N

Can relate so much to this post – a part of me does feel ever so close to severing the apron strings from Ed once and for all after 25 plus years …. – M

Not long ago my 85 year old aunt told me that she had to run from a friend of her husband’s when she was a young wife. She escaped and I am glad. What surprised me was, she said I was the first person she had told about this. Why do women hold on so tight to secrets. Take care June, you are making a difference in many women’s lives. – K

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